Encounters in the Dining Room
It was a typically busy Friday night at Chick–fil-A in Monterey Park, California. Most of the tables in the dining room were filled with guests in various stages of dining. In my role of dining room host, I was walking around the dining room checking in with guests at each table.
Connecting Through Language
At the first table I came to, I smiled warmly and asked, “How is everything?” The reply from a middle-aged Asian woman seated at the table with a middle-aged Asian man was “Everything is fine.” I smiled and replied, “ah kohn” (អរគុណ) to say, “thank you”. Then I said, “jai sen” (食晏), which means “how are you”. Both the woman and the man had baffled looks on their faces, and they were speechless! Then they began to smile.
Why? Because I had identified them as likely to be Cambodians by the way she spoke English when she said, “Everything is fine.” I replied with the Cambodian phrase for “Thank you.” I recognized that the couple had Chinese features, and I know that about 75% of Chinese Cambodians have Teochew heritage. That’s why I said, “jai sen” (食晏), which means “how are you” in the Teochew dialect of Chinese.
New Table and a New Language
I walked over to another table with three Asian guests, smiled warmly, and asked, “How is everything?” The reply from one of them, an Asian man who looked to be in his fifties, was “Everything is fine.” I smiled and replied, “Cảm ơn.” Then I said, “nei gei hou maa” (你幾好嗎). He had a baffled look on his face, and he was speechless! Then he broke into a smile.
Why? Because I had identified him as likely to be Vietnamese by the way he spoke English when he said, “Everything is fine.” I replied with the Vietnamese phrase for “thank you.” I recognized that he had Chinese features, and I know that many Vietnamese speak Cantonese. That’s why I said, “nei gei hou maa” (你幾好嗎), which means “how are you?” in Cantonese.
A Lucky Guess This Time
I walked over to another table with an Asian family, a mother and father and two teenage children, smiled warmly, and asked, “How is everything?” The reply from the father was “Everything is fine.” I smiled and replied, “xie xie” (谢谢). Then I said, “li kiem ho bo” (汝覕好無). He had a baffled look on his face, and he was speechless! Then he broke into a smile.
Why? Because I had identified him as Singaporean by the way he said, “Everything is fine.” (I had no doubt. Singapore English—Singlish—is very distinctive!). The family looked Chinese and Mandarin is one of Singapore’s four official languages, so that’s why I said “xie xie.” I know that about 40% of Chinese Singaporeans descend from the southeast area of Fujian Province, which has Hokkien as a dialect of Chinese. So, it was a bit of a guess, but that’s why I said, “li kiem ho bo” (汝覕好無), which means “how are you” in Hokkien. I was lucky!
Communicating in Their Language Brings Smiles
Finally, I walked over to another table with a couple who appeared to be in their seventies, smiled warmly, and asked, “How is everything?” The reply from both was “Everything is fine.” I smiled and replied, “nei geon fong dim aa” (你近況點呀). They both had baffled looks on their faces and were speechless! Then they broke into a smile.
Why? Because I had identified them as likely to be speakers of the Taishan dialect of Chinese by the way they spoke English when they said, “Everything is fine” and by their facial features. I replied with “nei geon fong dim aa” (你近況點呀), the Taishanese phrase for “How are your recent circumstances?” By the way they spoke English, I knew that they were likely third-generation Americans. The Taishan area of Guangdong Province was a major source of immigrant workers to the US beginning in the nineteeth century with the challenging and dangerous construction of the transcontinental railroad. About 1.3 million Americans have Taishan heritage. The Taishan dialect can still be heard in many traditional US Chinatowns.
Why Dialects Matter
I struggle to speak Mandarin phrases mainly due to the four tones. Why would I subject myself to trying to learn phrases in a Chinese dialect with more than four tones?
It is because when I recognize their heritage and speak a phrase of their dialect, it shows that they are valued. Steve Fortunato in his book, The Urgent Recovery of Hospitality, said “Hospitality makes others feel valued.”
Singapore Starts a “Speak Mandarin Campaign”
Singapore traditionally has six major Chinese dialects (Hokkien, Teochew, Cantonese, Hakka, Hainanese, and Foochow)that have shaped the identities and social lives of residents. Singapore’s founding Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew began a “Speak Mandarin Campaign” in 1979 to try to bring the Chinese community in Singapore together through a common language. There was a strong reaction from Singapore’s Chinese community when the government banned radio and television broadcasts in Chinese dialects.1
Having dialects “banned” is certainly not valuing a speaker of a dialect. Singapore’s government has eased off slightly. In fact, during the COVID-19 pandemic government had officials and celebrities explain prevention and treatment in the six major dialects, which showed that dialects continue to have an important social function.
Mutal Learning in Christ’s Love
When we lump the Chinese diaspora into one cultural “box,” we miss an opportunity to affirm an individual as someone God made very distinctly. When a dialect is not valued, it means a speaker of the dialect will not feel valued. Recognizing (guessing!) that someone is a speaker of Teochew or another Chinese dialect helps me embody Christ’s love for them and shows that God values them.
And the affirmation is always mutual—I learn from them, especially if I guess wrong! They learn that they are valued by others and by God. We learn from and grow with each other. Learning a few phrases in a few Chinese dialects was very challenging for me, but it is one of the best and most meaningful ways to engage with and minister alongside Chinese communities.
- “Is There a Future for Chinese Dialects in Singapore?” ThinkChina, September 5, 2024, accessed September 29, 2025, https://www.thinkchina.sg/society/there-future-chinese-dialects-singapore.
